It's suppose to be merry christmas..
however I'm not merry..
today I knew about how bad my horoscope luck is next year...
and next year is kind of a crucial year...
I really dk if I can make it.. im actually very stressed about it but i try not to think about it.
do you know the feeling where you cant talk to anyone about your worries cos u think that its not a big worry so u shouldnt trouble others?
I know if i tell others they will just say it's a small matter.
it's a smaall matter but idk how to solve it
i just dk how to communicate. why am i so insecure
why did i even walk into this
why did they even accept me in this
why did i even sign it.
Idk man my horoscope says that I would be prone to insomnia and depression next year lol
I somehow know that my career life will be a struggle. i dont even know if i can graduate.
and the sad part is i have to face it alone cos i dun wanna burden ppl.. esp the person that is going to be my future collegue...
our friendship has not been as good as before... and i hv a feeling that when we start work it will get worse because of my character.
and today... when u got a chance to use wa.. it's like you dont wanna talk to me
maybe youre tired, well u hv other friends...i guess they are better
and u both are online at the same time again~
I just hope that it's not true
if not ill really be.. idk man
when friendship becomes like this, I'll always blame myself.. isit me? isit cos i cant speak up, isit cos im boring
it's so hard to try to think about fuunny stuff to reply to show that i'm ok and im not sad
but lucky it's easy to hide it in text..
lucky it's the holidays where i can escape reality for abit
lucky my family is home this week and i can disturb my mei to lighten my mood
but do you know the feeling when u feel alone even though there's many ppl around you?
why am i even sad abt this...
it's a small matter right?
maybe im just childish hor?
Im really not looking foward to next year..
I just hope i have the strength to move on.
